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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in
N. Tonks' InsaneJournal:
| Saturday, March 15th, 2008 | |
| 1:41 pm | Oh sweet Helga, I am getting married in two weeks. Two. Not two months, two. bloody. weeks. How are we supposed to--oh, Merlin, this is insane. Professor Sprout keeps tearing up every time I talk to her about the flowers just because I asked her--well, of course I asked her, she's my old Head of House and the best with flowers I know! She keeps sniffling and saying how grown up I am and how proud she is of me and really, all I want to know is if she was able to get roses out of season! GINNY. Oi, Ginny, Madam Malkin's coming by for a final fitting tonight if you can be there. I want to see you dressed before I send you out there, oh, but I think you're going to love it, the shade of green is just brilliant. Brilliant, really. Remus, love, you've got to see the dress I found for Felicity! I think you'll like it, of course if you don't, we can find another, but this one's just precious. Mum, you're going to adore it, too, I know you are. I know how much grief I gave you about wearing dresses when I was little but she's really little and she can't exactly put up a fuss yet now can she? I knew there was a reason I made friends with the house elves all those years ago. The ones who are still around are amazing-Hermione, honey, I swear if there were a caterer in town who could compete I'd use them, but the elves found out about such a big celebration and they actually asked if they could help. I'm sorry! I couldn't tell them no, two of them burst into tears. Can't have crying house elves, can we? I'm almost afraid to say it, but--I actually think everything's going according to plan. It's almost a scary thought. ( Hexed Private ) [Hexed to Charlie] OI! Weasley! Remember when you asked if there was anything you could do for the wedding? |
| Saturday, February 23rd, 2008 | |
| 10:58 pm | |
| Monday, January 28th, 2008 | |
| 10:26 pm | [Hexed to Andi] PLEASE tell me these hormones stop soon. Honestly, this is mad. I yelled at poor Jinx this morning and all he did was walk across the arm of the chair. Poor thing won't come out from under the bed now and how pathetic is that? It's a cat, mum, a cat, and I yelled at him! And I can't stop crying and it's so stupid because I don't cry, how ridiculous can you possibly get? But if I yell at a cat for something stupid, how am I supposed to take care of a baby? I'll muck it up all royally and it'll grow up to hate me and you know what? I hate calling my baby an it. I wanted to be surprised but it's not fair that the poor baby is getting called an it, that's an awful thing to do to a child! And the mediwitch says I'm fine I just need less stress and how am I supposed to have less stress, I'm trying to be part of a war here? And it's awfully hard to be less stressed when you yell at your cat for no bloody reason! I'm going to be the worst mum EVER, my poor kid's probably going to run away from home because everyone always ends up leaving and because I'll probably still be trying to put a bloody wedding together and it'll just make me even more grumpy and Merlin knows who'd want to stick around when I'm like this this does stop at some point doesn't it? Like, soon? Please? |
| Thursday, January 10th, 2008 | |
| 1:46 pm | |
| Tuesday, January 1st, 2008 | |
| 10:40 pm | [Hexed Mostly Private--those closest may read] This can't be happening. I thought-- Oh, Merlin, it's childish, it's extremely naive, I know, but I just thought perhaps we were over the worst. That maybe we'd all move on and that--I don't want to say 'one big happy family', that's completely pathetic, but it sounded so right. I love Dad's family, of course I do. But it was just this thought, this perfect feeling that maybe we'd all be united, Remus and I with a baby and Mum there and Draco, maybe, if he wanted to be, and maybe, just maybe, I'd have an Aunt, a real honest one who cared and I know she probably wasn't the type to wipe up scraped knees and elbows and make chocolate chip biscuits and all but I'm past that now, mostly at least, and I just thought it'd be something nice to have around, a companion for Mum and someone to be there when I needed them, and I never got to know her and I feel so bloody guilty being so stubborn, I should've said screw everyone and gone and seen her, demanded to, asked to, whatever, it just feels completely awful knowing I could have and I didn't because I was too bloody proud. Oh hell, that was one awfully long and rambly sentence but I can't help it. I've always felt like, even at our worst, we had a chance of winning the war. We lost Sirius, but I kept hoping, desperately, and then Remus went away and Dumbledore died and I just kept thinking there was a chance and I always had the ability to fight back. And now I can't, and I know the baby needs me more than anything right now, but I'd give anything to just go out there and kick some arse and get anyone who got in my way and-- Bollocks, this is mad, it's completely awful. I feel like I'll never feel settled again and even the baby seems to know something's wrong, he's kicking like mad and bugger if I can take this sitting around doing nothing. Helga, I'm babbling, I shouldn't even have cracked the spine on this thing when I'm like this, but usually I'd throw back a few drinks at a time like this and I can't and Merlin, I'm just sorry. [Hexed to Draco] Need anything? Anything at all? |